The story
“The caretaker liked his job, but one day he learned that he had been superseded by ‘Cecil Skidding-Hansom, late valet to the Duke of Bilgewater.’ He had brought a gun along, expecting to have a wild time in America. This gave the caretaker an idea. He told Cecil that the country was extremely lawless, and kindly pointed out to him where danger existed. For example, in the North there were ‘bad Indians, who would kill you for a shilling.’ In the South ‘is a camp where they are trying to reform murderers,’ while in the West, he said mysteriously, ‘And that way is the most dangerous of all.’ Naturally, Cecil Skidding-Hansom was scared. He saw the ‘mad dogs’ and was much alarmed, for he did not know that the dogs were the property of the ex-caretaker. He met a ‘reformed murderer,’ who was out on a rampage and escaped from him after an exciting battle.
“Then by accident he learned that the old caretaker and his friends had been spoofing him. Cecil Skidding-Hansom was a bad man when he was aroused. The next day, the ‘Indians’ came, and he was ready for them They chased him into the reception room of the mansion, and then to their surprise fell through the floor, landing in a tank of water. Cecil Skidding-Hansom added to their sufferings by dropping them this note: ‘Dear Old Chaps: You spoofed me, but I’m a sport. Sail my boat around until I come back with the bobbies. (I think you bounders call them police.)’ Cecil remained as caretaker of the house, for nobody ever tried to play any more jokes on him.”
Summary from Reel Life · 8 April 1916
