A Six-Cylinder Elopement

“The old man had political ambitions and a beautiful daughter. He uttered no protest when a bright young lawyer captured the latter, but when the same individual landed the congressional nomination upon which the other had confidently counted, there was trouble. Enraged at his defeat, the old man summarily broke the engagement and sent his daughter back to a boarding school. The congressman-to-be was resourceful. He located the school and smuggled in a note, informing the girl that he would be waiting on the other side of the wall during supper hour, and that she should slip out then and join him. The schoolteacher was as cunning as the young man was resourceful. She learned the details of the plot, notified the father by phone, and laughed maliciously when he told her of a plan that popped into his head. At the appointed time the girl was in the garden and saw the rope slide over the garden wall. By its aid she clamored to the top, and to her horror discovered that her father, not her sweetheart, was waiting for her. The old man put her into his auto and drove off triumphantly. The resourceful congressman-to-be arrived with his rope, but all he found at the end of it, when he pulled it up, was the schoolteacher. Then he departed.

“Perhaps the old man didn’t have the right kind of an auto, or perhaps Cupid tampered with the engine. Anyhow, there was a breakdown on the road and the father, with many lamentations, did what many auto owners have done—crawled under the machine to try and find why the wheels would not go around. The resourceful young man drove up to them at this moment. Softly he signaled to the girl, drove along side, and she hopped from one tonneau into the other. Then they proceeded on their way, and when the old man reappeared, covered with mud and oil, they were gaily spinning down the road. He gave chase, vowing he would follow them everywhere. Perhaps he would have done so, had it not been that the younger man had another card to play. Noticing a constable asleep by the roadside, he aroused him and directed his attention to the approaching auto. ‘Exceeding the speed limit,’ the young man gravely said. ‘Thank you,’ replied the constable gratefully. ‘I am paid by fees.’ Then he waited and nabbed the angry father. As the happy young couple were entering a wayside church, father drove by in his auto. He would have stopped but the constable urged him on and led him to the presence of the representative of the law he had defied. He was still there when his new son-in-law arrived, and remarked that he had called ‘to pay father’s fine.’ He did, and the old man was too crushed to upbraid him. Furthermore, he feared that if he struggled longer, he might be worsted in a more humiliating way.”