The story
“Simon was a farmer boy who did not believe in eugenics, otherwise he would never have fallen in love with Susie, his school-mate. Susie’s mother was a chronic mental invalid so long that she naturally died, and her father was justly regarded as the laziest man in the county. In the course of time, Simon proposed, but Susie’s father said, ‘My daughter cannot marry while I live. Someone must do the work around the dear old farm!’
“Susie was tired of the dear old farm and perfectly willing to elope, but would not do so until she had discovered some method of ‘making father stick about the house.’ They selected glue, and when applied to the easy chair, it worked most successfully. The young couple departed and father remained at home firmly attached to his easy chair. Sometimes the pathway of elopers is rough and unpleasant. This young couple tried a carriage and also a hastily borrowed motorcycle, but although they traveled in circles most of the time, they could not dodge calamity. Finally they reached a village by the sea and rushed to the office of a justice of the peace. Then to their horror, they found he was out fishing, and a kindly neighbor pointed him out to the young couple.
“Two life guards strolling on the beach were alarmed a few moments later when a young man and woman in street clothes rushed to the water and plunged in. Visions of a double suicide came upon them and they followed, determined to effect a rescue. They overtook the fugitives hanging on to the judge’s boat and imploring him to marry them. The only objection the judge had raised was that there were no witnesses, but the arrival of the life guards overcame this, and the pair were united. Father arrived in a motorboat a few minutes later, but what could he do? The young couple were married. He could, and did, refuse to give his blessing, but they cared not for that and swam off, side by side on the wedding journey which began with a short ocean voyage.”
Summary from The Moving Picture World · 25 September 1915
